September 2018 - The Parenting Cafe

The Second Wife

September 18, 2018/in 1 - 3 Years, 3 - 5 Years, Intellectual, Language, Social - Emotional /by Sonja Preston

I want you to imagine for a moment… Your partner tells you that he is bringing home a new wife to live in the family home. He tells you how exciting it’s going to be, and how much he’s looking forward to her arrival. He says you’ll need to help this new wife, and to share your things – your clothes and your room with her, and that he wants you to love her too. He reminds you that you are still special, but that there will be another special one there too! How would you feel? Most of us would be in disbelief, enraged, and feeling like we weren’t loved enough, or that we weren’t special enough.

Yet, isn’t this what we often expect of child number one, when we announce that’s there’s a new baby joining the family? As adults we struggle with the whole concept of a 2^nd wife, yet we expect a 2/3/4 year old (with infinitely less mature social development) to understand, and ‘be nice’ to this new baby! It sounds unreasonable when expressed like that, doesn’t it? In some cases, the first few weeks may be a novelty for the first child, but then some reach a stage where they ask you to ‘send the baby back’!

Family Rituals

September 17, 2018/in 1 - 3 Years, 3 - 5 Years, 4 - 12 Months, Birth - 3 Months, Intellectual, Language, Parents, Social - Emotional /by Sonja Preston

In traditional societies there are various times in a child’s life, where special ceremonies take place, to mark their growth and development eg puberty. This was often followed by a family or community gathering, and were an important way of acknowledging a milestone, and they were a time to make that child feel special and proud. In our modern society many people celebrate birthdays to acknowledge another years passing, but a lot of our rituals have ceased.

Perhaps you might like to consider introducing some rituals of family celebrations into your home.

My toddler is slapping me!

September 10, 2018/in 1 - 3 Years, 3 - 5 Years, 4 - 12 Months, Intellectual, Language, Parents, Social - Emotional /by Sonja Preston

Lisa asked what to do about her 19 month old son, when he slaps her on the face, for no apparent reason…

Oh Lisa, it’s so awful when our children respond with hitting us! Apart from any physical pain, we are often horrified at their behaviour, shocked that they would do it, wonder why they are doing it, and then if anyone is watching, we also feel embarrassed! What a mix of emotions!

The Importance of Dads

September 3, 2018/in 1 - 3 Years, 3 - 5 Years, 4 - 12 Months, Birth - 3 Months, Language, Pre-Natal, Social - Emotional /by Sonja Preston

For a long time now we’ve known the valuable role that mothers play in the development of children, through nurturing and play.

Research also acknowledges the powerful role which Dads play in the family dynamics generally, and in the long term well-being of their children.

The best gift a Dad can give his kids, is his time!

Being a Dad is probably the most important job you’ll ever do. The way you interact and behave with your children will have a huge impact on them – what they do, how they feel about themselves and how they turn out – both now, and down the track. As with anything that is important to you, being a great Dad requires time, energy and effort!
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