August 2018 - The Parenting Cafe

Problem Solving through Role Play.

August 27, 2018/by Sonja Preston

Have you ever had a child throw a tantrum about having their hair washed?

Or had a child who is scared whenever they walk past a fence because once a dog growled behind that fence?

Or had a child who doesn’t want to go on the swing because once they fell off.

As parents, we’ve all experienced that sometimes our children seem to have what we see as irrational fears… fear of hair washing, or walking past a fence etc. And depending on how much patience we have that day, we either handle it well, or not. Sometimes too, these situations keep repeating, and we may become frustrated – I mean, we all know kids need their hair washed from time to time, eh?

So how do you help your child to move through these times, to learn to push past it? Read more

Why a Teddy Bear is a Parent’s Best Friend

August 13, 2018/by Sonja Preston

How great it would be for all children and parents, if babies and toddlers were gently encouraged to have a ‘favourite’ teddy bear or doll. Both boys and girls need to learn nurturing skills and the beauty of having a ‘friend’ who is always there for them.

My three children each had one…. which they named Susan, Alexandra and Denis. They accompanied my children everywhere… in the car, to bed, for stay-overs at Grandmas, and for security when they were left with a baby-sitter.

Children don’t always select one for themselves – you can encourage it from an early age by introducing the teddy or doll, and talking about them eating with you, sleeping in the child’s bed, brushing their teeth together etc.

Good Kids and Bad Kids

August 6, 2018/by Sonja Preston

Let’s imagine that yesterday you were pulled over by the police, for speeding. How would you feel if, at the time, they had told you that you were a bad woman/man. And when you got home and shared the story with your partner, that they also said you were bad for doing that. And if tomorrow you saw that same police, would you want a reminder not to be bad like yesterday? I know I’d hate it, and would probably feel angry at being reminded over and over!

Yet, isn’t this what we often do to our children when they misbehave….. we somethimes say words like: Naughty boy , or bad girl! And some parents then repeat the story to Daddy when he comes home….. “Sarah was so bad today, she did xyz”. Or tomorrow when the child is playing in a similar situation, we remind them not to be naughty like yesterday.

We wouldn’t like it if it happened to us, so why would we do it to our children?

The reality is that we all make mistakes… and that’s what they are ‘mistakes’, or poor choices. It doesn’t make us bad or naughty!