Let’s imagine that yesterday you were pulled over by the police, for speeding. How would you feel if, at the time, they had told you that you were a bad woman/man. And when you got home and shared the story with your partner, that they also said you were bad for doing that. And if tomorrow you saw that same police, would you want a reminder not to be bad like yesterday? I know I’d hate it, and would probably feel angry at being reminded over and over!
Yet, isn’t this what we often do to our children when they misbehave….. we somethimes say words like: Naughty boy , or bad girl! And some parents then repeat the story to Daddy when he comes home….. “Sarah was so bad today, she did xyz”. Or tomorrow when the child is playing in a similar situation, we remind them not to be naughty like yesterday.
We wouldn’t like it if it happened to us, so why would we do it to our children?
The reality is that we all make mistakes… and that’s what they are ‘mistakes’, or poor choices. It doesn’t make us bad or naughty!