Are you a DO or a DON’T parent?
Don’t touch that!
Don’t spill your drink.
Don’t take off your hat.
Don’t throw the ball in the house.
Don’t forget to put your school bag away.
‘When’ – One of the best parenting tools ever!
I’ve presented many talks to parents over the past 18 years, both to groups of parents, and also to individuals when doing a home visit. For more information about Skype or home visits, see https://theparentingcafe.com.au/home-visits/#.VI0CAr5Ic8E
Parents often want me to wave a magic wand, and change or ‘fix’ the difficulties they are having in their parenting. I wish such a tool existed! I can’t give you that, but…. I can give you a fabulous parenting tool… the word ‘when’.
Now this will sound incredibly simple, yet it works!
Why We Must Set Boundaries for our Children
I want you to imagine you now own a horse, and you put it out on the land. It’s on an area where there are no fences – none, anywhere! You call the horse to come to you, and it runs away. Another time you see the horse misbehaving, but before you can approach it, it runs away. Another time, there is danger about, and you attempt to get the horse for it’s own safety, but it runs away. In all of these cases, a fence would have been really useful.
It is the same with ‘fences’ for children. Obviously we aren’t going to fence in our child, but it is vital that we establish boundaries, which are just like fences. A boundary is like saying to your child: ‘Within here you can run/ play/ do, but then you can go no further.’ Let me give you a few examples.