Last week I detailed four of the nine traits which make up your temperament or personality, and the ways in which as a parent, we can cater for our children’s temperaments, when life isn’t always going to go their way. Let’s look at the other five traits:
Support children who are highly regular by maintaining schedules, where possible. Talk to them, if things are going to be different today.
When children aren’t predictable in their needs for food, sleep or toileting, watch them for indications that they are uncomfortable (tired, hungry), as they may not read the signs themselves.
Children with high sensitivity will ‘feel’ or notice small changes – to the way food tastes, to the sounds around them and how fabrics feel on their skin. When they say: ‘this jumper feels scratchy’, to them it really does, and they may become stressed if made to wear it. Respond to their sensitivities with gentleness, and change it if possible.
A child with low sensitivity won’t notice when they are cold, or when the TV is too loud for their ears. Be aware of what is going on around you and assist them, if they don’t notice themselves.
Be aware that sometimes children who always present as happy children may not know how to show it, when they aren’t happy, and so just cover it up. Check in with them when things are changing.
If you have a child who is often in a negative mood (cranky, sad or whingy), place them in calm, repetitive situations, where they can learn to cope by becoming familiar with the environment. Acknowledge them, when they do display positive behaviours.
For children who are high intensity (they laugh really loudly, or cry dramatically), it’s important that they receive good role modelling from you, as to how to handle their feelings when things go wrong or change. Talk softly with them at this time, and say: ‘When you stop crying, I can hear what you want’ etc.
Children who are low intensity often don’t know how to express what they are feeling – again modelling helps, and saying words like: ‘I can see you are sad that Daddy’s not home yet, and that makes you want to cry’ etc.
These are just some of the ways to assist your children. It’s particularly important when you have a operate differently in that particular trait, as it might not be obvious to you, as to why they are behaving that way.
As parents we always have the opportunity to grow and learn more about our children (and ourselves!)
Whilst people say that your personality is ‘set’ at birth, and often that is the case – yet we all know adults who have dramatically changed, often after a major event in their life – so change is possible! Your personality is a tendency to respond in a certain way – with determination and action, an adult can make changes for themselves. When your children grow up, they may make changes within, if they desire.
Image by cheriejoyful via Flickr