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Image by Karl Baron via Flickr

Moving House – Moving Community

So, you’ve made the decision to move, and now the day has arrived. The boxes are packed, the trucks loaded and it’s time to go to the new home.

What happens if the new place is interstate or overseas? If you’ve been at your previous home for a while, you forget how many connections you’ve made… you know where the shops are, and where to go for speciality items; you know which chemist stays open late and where the cheapest petrol is; you’ve joined playgroups or schools and have connections there, and as a result you know when dance classes are on and where the best parks are for children. We forget how much we know about our local community!

 

Now you are somewhere new and need to start from scratch. How do we help ourselves and our children to adapt to the new place and to start to feel part of it?

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The Midnight Phone Call

Last night I got one of those midnight phone calls – you know the ones, the ones you dread! Now most people might go into panic mode – what’s wrong? Or who’s sick? Or who’s died?

Me… to be honest my first thought was: Who’s interrupting my sleep! – especially when it came up as an unknown number. I debated whether to answer it or not, thinking it was probably some person from overseas wanting to sell me something, or it might even be a wrong number. But, I decided to answer it, and, I am glad I did – it was a friend in need! She’d rung on a new phone and so it appeared as unknown number to me.

 

She was in tears with a situation at home and where she knew she was sinking further and further into depressive thoughts and misery – and the never-ending circle that sometimes comes with that. She was crying and apologising for calling me in the same breath. Without sharing any of her personal details, I thanked her for recognising that she wasn’t coping and said that I knew it took great courage to reach out for help.

 

How often do we think that if we admit that we are going through a rough time is an admission of failure? And rather than ask for help, we quietly ‘soldier on’ and often our ability to cope becomes more of an issue until finally we collapse – in sickness, in mental health etc. We all know life can be tough at times.

 

Having a friend to walk beside you makes all the difference. Read more

boys-need-to-play-with-dolls

Why Boys Need to Play with Dolls

How many women do you know who complain that their partners or husbands ‘never’ help around the house? Over the years as a mother and a Parenting Consultant, I’ve heard far more complaints, than praise about the men’s housekeeping participation. This also seems to be born out by researchers who claim that females still do the bulk of the housework.

Why do you think that this is the case?

I believe part of it stems from the early messages children take on board from their parents. We know young children are almost like sponges, picking up on all we, as parents, say and do. Children don’t filter the messages, they just see it as ‘the norm’ – meaning that this is how we should behave. Therefore, if  we as children grew up with Mum doing all the housework, then I will believe that’s how I must behave. And, that’s what I will teach my children. So, our children will also have received the message that housework is for females!

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