This article is supplied by guest writer, Rodney Tattam, who writes a weekly blog, called One Page Wonder.
“The best thing parents can do for their children is allow them to be who they were born to be.” ― Nancy Arroyo Ruffin
Week after week I endeavour to post something that has a positive Twenty one years ago we became parents for the very first time and our lives changed forever, and so much for the better. Two years later we were blessed with our second son and life became incredible. At this period there are so many changes happening in your life and so much to learn and comprehend. Most of it, you learn or make up as you go.
So many things happen as your children grow and develop, and the years zoom by. Life is filled with priceless memories, many worthy on their own mini movie. Through school, many friends come and go as they create their own identity. They go from preschool, primary, high school, college and then whatever comes next. Sometimes it is really hard to keep up with all of the changes, however you kid yourself into believing you understand.
As though struck between the eyes with an anvil, I have just realised that my kids are actually adults now. This is something I cannot get used to because for so long they have needed our protection to keep them safe, happy and fed of course. Now they can, and do , make their own decisions and all my planning has crashed out the window.
Where have all the years gone and how they have gone so quickly still puzzles me. We are fortunate to have had some amazing special times, and have travelled a lot and done so many things together, because that is how we believed it should be. We rarely farmed them out to baby sitters to look after. If we could take them somewhere we would.
That has all changed because they are able to do what they want. Somehow, I have to find a way to accept that and be happy that they have grown into lovely respectful young men. However, you find other things to worry about, will they find a nice partner, will they get a job or career of their choosing and how will they ever afford a house. They go out when they want, stay where they choose and make most of their own decisions. I will still pick them up from wherever they are, no matter what time of night they call me because I figure my loss of sleep is worthwhile by saving them an expensive taxi fare. Of course, knowing they are home safely does come into it. That will never change.
It is really unfamiliar to me because for the last couple of decades they have been our responsibility. This is even proving challenging to put into words because the concept is so foreign to me, though my wife, Wendy, as always has it under control. We brought up our boys to be kind, respectful human beings who have no doubt they are loved. Sadly, that does not always happen nowadays as some people shouldn’t have the privilege of being parents. It was by far the best decision we ever made and were fortunate to have great role models and the right values to take on the commitment.
I look back and wonder, where have all those years gone, yet still smile when I am in their downstairs lair and see the Teddy Bears I bought each of them on the day they were born. It seems so long ago and so much has happened, and will continue to happen as their journey continues. I will get used to it and I will stop trying to plan their time because all I am doing is hanging on a little longer to the best job that I have ever had. That job of being a parent. Brady and Connor, be patient and in the end your Dad will get it.