Young children are like little sponges – they copy what we say and do:
- we wash the dishes, they want to wash up too;
- we read a book, they want to read too;
- we’re cranky and they become cranky too!
You can use a kitchen sponge to wipe up water, oil, or dirty spills – the sponge just ‘sucks’ it all up. Young kids are like this too …. they just absorb what is around them – they don’t stop to think about whether it’s good or not. They figure, ‘if Mum/Dad/Nan is doing it, I can too!’
This includes the language they hear. Kids learn words and emotions from what you say. If you regularly smile and laugh when talking to a friend, kids think this is what you do with friends. If you have someone who you are regularly angry and swearing with, kids think this is something to copy too.
If you want kids to not swear, then the first thing to do, is to check what they are hearing on a daily basis. As adults and parents we need to protect young children from all sorts of things which aren’t good for them, this includes swearing, and conversations which might scare or worry them.
Exploring Mistakes
/by Sonja PrestonA while ago I went to a 4 day creative workshop called: “Colour and Collage”. My tutor was a wonderful teacher. She explained the principles of colour and design carefully, and then described the tasks to be done. As we completed each series of exercises, she’d ask us simple questions such as: What do you think of your piece? Where is your focal point?” – which made us critically evaluate our own works. What a wonderful teacher – she didn’t cast judgement, but rather, encouraged us to think?
She could have stepped in as we were working, pointing out the errors we’d made, or parts which we’d omitted – which would have been discouraging. Instead she taught us what to look for ourselves – creating independent workers
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The Influence of Media
/by Sonja PrestonA few years ago, I heard Dr Catherine Neilsen-Hewitt from the Institute of Early Childhood at Macquarie University speak on the topic, “The Effects of Media Violence on Children.” She spoke about the statistics of media violence, the reactions of children and how media violence affects children’s development.
Following is a snapshot of what I learnt…
Children watch an average of 2 – 4 hrs of TV daily. This means by the end of Primary School, they will have seen 8,000 murders, and 100,000 acts of violence – this is from the news you watch, the shows you watch, the ‘cartoon’ violence in kids shows etc. A horrifiying statistic. Over time children become desensitized to it – meaning that they can see a violent act being committed (on TV or in real life) and have no response to it.
Just as every exposure to cigarettes leads to an increase in the risk of developing cancer, every exposure to violence leads to an increase in the risk of behaving violently. (due to the desensitization mentioned above).
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How (and why) a 3 year old drives you nuts with their constant questioning
/by Sonja PrestonWritten for Cheryl, Mum to 3 y.o Annabelle
Q: Where’s daddy?
A: At work.
Q: Why?
A: To make money.
Q: Why?
A: So we can buy food and toys.
Q: Why?
A: Because it costs money to buy them.
Q: How much does Daddy get?…
Sound familiar? Or when in the car, Annabelle asks you for the 4th time where are we going?” You think maybe she’s a bit deaf, but you had the Dr check that last week.
So, why do 3 y.o. children (in particular) ask SO many questions?
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Does your child know you love them?
/by Sonja PrestonWhen’s the last time you said: “I love you Jasmine/ Steven/ Amy, or hugged your child for no particular reason?
What is Unconditional Love?
This is love expressed or shown, which isn’t related to a particular act or behaviour (like doing their homework, or picking up their toys) – it’s ‘just because’ love!
Ultimately we all want to know that we are loved, for who we are, not for what we do.
Many parents say that soon after the birth of their baby, they ‘get’ what love is really about. You love that child, just because they exist. You nurture and nourish that baby – you gaze lovingly into their eyes, and connect!
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Little Sponges, Little Ears – How we talk in front of kids
/by Sonja PrestonYou can use a kitchen sponge to wipe up water, oil, or dirty spills – the sponge just ‘sucks’ it all up. Young kids are like this too …. they just absorb what is around them – they don’t stop to think about whether it’s good or not. They figure, ‘if Mum/Dad/Nan is doing it, I can too!’
This includes the language they hear. Kids learn words and emotions from what you say. If you regularly smile and laugh when talking to a friend, kids think this is what you do with friends. If you have someone who you are regularly angry and swearing with, kids think this is something to copy too.
If you want kids to not swear, then the first thing to do, is to check what they are hearing on a daily basis. As adults and parents we need to protect young children from all sorts of things which aren’t good for them, this includes swearing, and conversations which might scare or worry them.
A quick introduction to The Parenting Cafe
/by Sonja PrestonA short interview with the founder of The Parenting Cafe, Sonja Preston. Read more